How to Become More Influential by Lowering the Stakes (ft. Phil M. Jones)

In today’s episode, I’m super excited to be joined by Phil M Jones, the author of the incredible book, Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact. I’ve studied influence for a long time, and I have to say, Phil’s book is one of the best in the category. Not only is it packed with brilliant insights, actionable principles – it’s also highly consumable and accessible enough that anyone can pour its teachings into their lives, and according to Phil, this is all by design. He sat down with us and shared what drove him to write the book, how and why he went completely against the grain in the writing, packaging, and publishing of the book.

Phil M. Jones is a Master of Influence and Persuasion, author of Seven Best Selling Business Books, including Exactly What To Say, and one children’s picture book, producer of the most listened to non-fiction audiobook of all time. His precise insights around communication added to a proven personal pedigree of peak performance and a richness of real-world experience mean that Phil is the kind of thought-leader whose counsel is sought by other thought-leaders. Best known for his international best-selling book, Exactly What to Say – The Magic Words for Influence and Impact and his vast experience as a professional speaker at conferences and events, what is often overlooked is the strategic intellect he provides behind the scenes for some of the world’s biggest brands to understand their critical conversations and the success language required to maximize their effectiveness. To date, more than 800 different industries, across 59 countries and 5 continents have benefitted from his input. Trusted by dynamic and aspiring leaders in Healthcare, Real Estate, Automotive, Financial Services, SaaS, Home Improvement, Retail, and many more – Phil is the kind of expert that achieves his success through the people he supports and adores seeing other people shine.

Influence is the ability to make our conversations count, but exactly how to do it isn’t something we’re taught. So we end up needing to be influential in high stakes situations, but what if we could distill influence down so that we can use it in low stakes interactions like convincing our kids to clean their rooms, or our spouse to eat at that Italian restaurant for dinner?

It’s hard to increase our influence without practice, and confidence is often the missing ingredient. If we turn down the pressure, ramp up our experience, increase the reps we can build our influence-competence through confidence and experience.