Think Differently with Brian Gubernick

Time is finite but so many of us are just not purposeful with it. People plan how they go to a movie better than they plan their life, the relationships they have. It’s amazing how calculated we are about our movies and vacations but we don’t do the same thing in our personal worlds.

Hard work is a key to success but what’s the point if there’s no true balance? So many of us say we work hard for our families but do we really? Start defining achievement a little differently, you can’t let your work define who you are.

If you count how many winters, Fridays, ocean swims, football seasons, beach days you have in your life, it really puts how finite time is into perspective. If you’ve got 20 years left in your life, and you go snowboarding once a year, you probably have 20 of those days left.

Think about how many more Halloweens you get with your kids when they are little. How are you taking advantage of those moments?

The average kid and parent spends 300 days per year together from the time they are 0-18. Over 18 they spend an average of 30 days with their parents, 10 days a year if they don’t live in the same town. Depending on how old your kids are, you might have spent over 50% of your total time with your kids already.

You have to cheat the system and get more purposeful to get more out of those days.

The key thing is becoming aware that time is finite.

We go through our lives not being purposeful about these things that we deem most important. Cheat the system – do it differently. Think differently to what we usually do in our normal programs of life.

How do we maximize the moments that we have? When you work hard, think about what you’re giving up in its place.

We all have things we care deeply about and we neglect them. The good news is: you can do something about it now.

Now that we know this – what should we do?
Write your own eulogy: connect the dots and design the specific commitments you want to make to leave the impact you desire to leave. What are the things you could be doing better so that you influence that outcome?

Truly start life planning: how do you want to be remembered by your kids, how do you want people to speak about you, think about these things and be honest about where you stand.
Take no days off: every single day you can improve something, whether it’s yourself or a relationship. You can deal with a pain or challenge, and get healthier and smarter.

Get a Memento Mori calendar. It’s sobering, but also inspiring to see how much time you have.

Think about your life accounts: health, relationships, wealth, business, friends, social, siblings, spiritual, travel etc. Some of your accounts have really positive balances and others are overdrawn. Prioritize those accounts accordingly

Health should be number 1, you can’t honor any of the other accounts if you’re not feeling great and alive.

You are going to outgrow certain things and certain relationships as you grow, accept that.

Life is about counterbalance – there are times we’ll have to be in the extreme in certain areas, the key is not to stay in the extreme too long. How long can you be in something until other areas start to suffer and/or deteriorate?

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